I wanna go back for a bit to talking about anxiety and depression and whatnot.

I've been pretty happy lately because I have been somehow socializing more. I guess it's one of the main things I needed, which makes sense since only having my mind to talk to most of the time is not a good thing. Not for anyone.

But I noticed while I'm trying to be happy this little feeling of.. fear or.. something pops up, and it tells me that I can't be happy. It says that if I'm happy I will die because... it seems to think that I just shouldn't be happy? and I start imagining I could die in some freak accident or something that could just happen suddenly to my body. It's weird, and I try to ignore it. I guess when I have time to think about it too much it can almost consume me. Just doing my best not to let it bring me back down to where I was.

I watch movies and such at night before sleeping because they help keep me preoccupied. Though I can't think of any movie yet to watch tonight.