Okay. I decided (kind of). I'm going to use the blog for... talking about anxiety and depression and I guessss talk about how I deal with it or whatever and stuff like that. Maybe it'll help someone or people would be able to help me in some way or something.

And I may also use it for my art too like.. uh... online sketchbook or something, show WIPs and whatnot. So I guess I'll start with a little intro about myself and.. my anxiety. I don't really like talking about it openly, but here we go;

I've had anxiety my whole life, though for a while it had... somewhat gone away, but it came back when I finished high school and has been torturing me since. (Which is about three years or so?) I mostly just dealt with it and hoped it'd go away on it's own. That didn't happen though and eventually I started developing depression and uh.. depersonalization or.. derealization.. or both? I get them mixed up... Whatever. I don't really likee labeling what's "wrong" with me anyway.

Finally, I gave in and went to my doctor about it. She did tests and then I was given a prescription for an anti-depressant/anti-anxiety.. whatever.. stuff. but I never took it 'cause it's too scary for me. She also got me a counselor but I only went to two sessions before deciding he wasn't very good and wasn't doing much for me. So now I'm back at square one, trying to fix myself on my own, but at least with a clean bill of health  and everything, guess that helps with my health anxiety and thantaphobia.

I found out my heart palpitations were hereditary and now I take flaxseed oil softgel.. thingies. Not sure how they're working yet since I've only taken them twice but hopefully it'll help with that. I still struggle with.. regulating my breathing pretty much everyday, and eventually that sends me into small panics, but I do okay now with sitting through those till they go away.

For depression I'm just trying to have a positive attitude about things and I have quotes glued to my wall to remind myself to not be stupid. I also really screwed up my sleep schedule thanks to this stuff and now I stay up like all night and I can't fix it.... yet. It'll be nice to have my mornings back once it is better.

Um.. that's it for now I suppose. Just killing time while I can't sleep.